It's come to my attention lately that over the past few weeks, with the business of finishing school and exams, I've slipped a bit in my walk with God. I've still been reading the bible and praying, but it had become more of a chore than a joy.
Part of the problem, I've realised was that I was hearing and reading God's word but not really listening to it. Because I've been considering it more of a chore and because I've been more stressed about study and the other complexities of life, when I've been reading the word my mind has been elsewhere. As a result I've been reading it, but not truly listening to it. I haven't been taking notice of what God is teaching me, I haven't been applying it to my life, I haven't been rejoicing in the lessons God has for me and the depths of his mercy and grace.
As I started to realise that I had been slipping I began trying to fix it myself. Again not listening to God or just turning to him in prayer. We try so hard to fix things ourselves, but we are sinful and we cannot. Only God can bring us back to him. Only God can reveal to us where we have stuffed up and bring us back to a right standing before him through Christ. In pride it's so often easy to lose sight of that again.
I thought it would be worth posting this because perhaps you're facing the same problem. I didn't really recognise it until the last few days. I thought I was doing a good job when in reality I was legalistically doing chores that I thought would impress God. The truth is nothing we can ever do can impress God. That's why we need Jesus. That's why God is so gracious and merciful in saving us. We deserve none of it.
If this is you, then pray. Ask God for help. Be honest with him and yourself (Your not going to scare him with your honesty - he knows it all anyway). Read his word and take note of it - don't just do it as a chore, apply it to your life and rejoice in it (regardless of if it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside or not).